Backing up the works

My period is 24 hours late, but ironically, I have a nose bleed.

I think stress is rearranging the plumbing.

Backing up the works

My period is 24 hours late, but ironically, I have a nose bleed.

I think stress is rearranging the plumbing.

Let go

Jason and I went out to lunch and discussed the wide variety of scenarios we're facing, any of which could play out over the next week.

I kept thinking of an odd dream I had last night about trying a cigarette for the first time. In the dream I didn't inhale, but for some reason it felt good, and I wanted that feeling back. I just want to feel something other than frustration and being so let down by people I expected more from - people we've had to depend on, who we had hoped wouldn't ignore how much it would affect our lives if they were half-assed.

I sucked down two vodka & Cokes and tried not to stress. I'm going to be upset if it comes down to us having to leave for a while, but I know better than to treat it as a defeat. I'm just trying to focus on making the best of each possibility. Our worst case scenario, at this point, is starting to look pretty damn good. Celebrate my birthday anywhere in the world. Buy some fucking plane tickets and go. For 5 months, just go. Camera always in hand, spend the time as a gift. And when it's all over, come back and try again.

The hard part now is the waiting. Which path is the universe going to send us down?

As Jason said to me over lunch: things could be much, much worse. Whatever happens, I will definitely be mindful of that.

Let go

Jason and I went out to lunch and discussed the wide variety of scenarios we're facing, any of which could play out over the next week.

I kept thinking of an odd dream I had last night about trying a cigarette for the first time. In the dream I didn't inhale, but for some reason it felt good, and I wanted that feeling back. I just want to feel something other than frustration and being so let down by people I expected more from - people we've had to depend on, who we had hoped wouldn't ignore how much it would affect our lives if they were half-assed.

I sucked down two vodka & Cokes and tried not to stress. I'm going to be upset if it comes down to us having to leave for a while, but I know better than to treat it as a defeat. I'm just trying to focus on making the best of each possibility. Our worst case scenario, at this point, is starting to look pretty damn good. Celebrate my birthday anywhere in the world. Buy some fucking plane tickets and go. For 5 months, just go. Camera always in hand, spend the time as a gift. And when it's all over, come back and try again.

The hard part now is the waiting. Which path is the universe going to send us down?

As Jason said to me over lunch: things could be much, much worse. Whatever happens, I will definitely be mindful of that.

Best pet ever

Two Jehovah's Witnesses just came to our door. I answered reluctantly, my hair unbrushed and still in my pajamas. I stared blankly at the lady as she showed me an illustration depicting an Asian family with a pet tiger (?!) amidst a lush, utopian landscape and asked me if I could picture myself and my family in such a place.

"Uh, I don't know," I mumbled in a skeptical tone. She went on about how other people can easily imagine themselves living there happily as I gave her a once over and noticed some copies of The Watchtower in her bag. I couldn't help but smirk a little. "Um, I'm not interested."

She proceeded to ask me if I thought humans were going to fix "all the problems we've got", and I thought of telling her that, though having a pet tiger would be pretty awesome, I certainly didn't believe in depending on God to fix everything for us. Instead I just starting backing away and said "I don't know. Have a nice day," then closed the door.

I guess we're officially home owners, now that we've had to turn religious solicitors away. They probably think I'm going to burn in hell for saying no to my very own tiger, and really I can't blame them. I mean, our yard is probably big enough, but we're just not ready to take on the responsibility of a pet. Besides, we'd have to get a bigger cat door.

Best pet ever

Two Jehovah's Witnesses just came to our door. I answered reluctantly, my hair unbrushed and still in my pajamas. I stared blankly at the lady as she showed me an illustration depicting an Asian family with a pet tiger (?!) amidst a lush, utopian landscape and asked me if I could picture myself and my family in such a place.

"Uh, I don't know," I mumbled in a skeptical tone. She went on about how other people can easily imagine themselves living there happily as I gave her a once over and noticed some copies of The Watchtower in her bag. I couldn't help but smirk a little. "Um, I'm not interested."

She proceeded to ask me if I thought humans were going to fix "all the problems we've got", and I thought of telling her that, though having a pet tiger would be pretty awesome, I certainly didn't believe in depending on God to fix everything for us. Instead I just starting backing away and said "I don't know. Have a nice day," then closed the door.

I guess we're officially home owners, now that we've had to turn religious solicitors away. They probably think I'm a sinner for saying no to my very own tiger, and really I can't blame them. I mean, our yard is probably big enough, but we're just not ready to take on the responsibility of a pet. Besides, we'd have to get a bigger cat door.

Srsly

Why had I never been introduced to vanilla vodka and Coke prior to this evening?

It's fucking good.

Just sayin'.

Srsly

Why had I never been introduced to vanilla vodka and Coke prior to this evening?

It's fucking good.

Just sayin'.

Beyond the Rubicon

You may have noticed I've stopped talking about this whole moving-to-New Zealand thing.

That isn't because I'm here and settled, necessarily. I wouldn't say "settled" is the right word.

There are a lot of things that have been up in the air for months now. Things I find it difficult to explain without a back story of too many details. Things that have nothing to do with the universal aches and pains of immigrating, and more to do with our specific situation. Things you would probably not be interested in anyway.

I also don't feel I have a firm grasp on anything. My days feature a range of feelings about all of this, and I've had no particular passing thoughts that seem to sum it all up. Especially without context.

Simply put, we still don't have work permits.

I've spent a lot of time at the beach, so I can't complain. I'm enjoying this place.

On the other hand, our visitor's visas run out on March 7th. Cutting it a little close. Or possibly not cutting it at all.

Beyond the Rubicon

You may have noticed I've stopped talking about this whole moving-to-New Zealand thing.

That isn't because I'm here and settled, necessarily. I wouldn't say "settled" is the right word.

There are a lot of things that have been up in the air for months now. Things I find it difficult to explain without a back story of too many details. Things that have nothing to do with the universal aches and pains of immigrating, and more to do with our specific situation. Things you would probably not be interested in anyway.

I also don't feel I have a firm grasp on anything. My days feature a range of feelings about all of this, and I've had no particular passing thoughts that seem to sum it all up. Especially without context.

Simply put, we still don't have work permits.

I've spent a lot of time at the beach, so I can't complain. I'm enjoying this place.

On the other hand, our visitor's visas run out on March 7th. Cutting it a little close. Or possibly not cutting it at all.

You can go your own way

All my initial attempts at sleeping last night instead left me staring at the shadows on the ceiling. I'd taken a deliberately accidental nap that afternoon (yeah, and?), so I wasn't especially tired, but it didn't help that someone on our block was hosting a pretty serious party.

I laid in bed listening, half-amused and half annoyed, as they blared a number of Eminem tracks. The music was changed over to some dance beats, and a minute or so later the CD started to skip terribly. I couldn't help but laugh out loud as a grating "unh unh unh unh unh unh" sound echoed down the street.

Whoever was playing DJ finally found their way back to the stop button, then decided to go balls out by switching to "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac. This continued for a number of minutes: the DJ would play Fleetwood, cut it off mid-song and switch to something new which would soon start to skip. Then, out from the silence of defeat would come Lindsey Buckingham and his bandmates belting out "You can go your own waaaaay!"

No, seriously. You can.

You can go your own way

All my initial attempts at sleeping last night instead left me staring at the shadows on the ceiling. I'd taken a deliberately accidental nap that afternoon (yeah, and?), so I wasn't especially tired, but it didn't help that someone on our block was hosting a pretty serious party.

I laid in bed listening, half-amused and half annoyed, as they blared a number of Eminem tracks. The music was changed over to some dance beats, and a minute or so later the CD started to skip terribly. I couldn't help but laugh out loud as a grating "unh unh unh unh unh unh" sound echoed down the street.

Whoever was playing DJ finally found their way back to the stop button, then decided to go balls out by switching to "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac. This continued for a number of minutes: the DJ would play Fleetwood, cut it off mid-song and switch to something new which would soon start to skip. Then, out from the silence of defeat would come Lindsey Buckingham and his bandmates belting out "You can go your own waaaaay!"

No, seriously. You can.

Glass

Canon's Virtual Lens Plant videos are completely fascinating. I especially like the bits about the molten glass (who doesn't like stuff that's molten?) and the actual lens assembly - particularly since they use a massive 500mm lens, with a staggering 17 elements, to demonstrate the process. It's also hard not to get a kick out of the very serious narrator repeating "EF 500mm F4L IS USM" over and over again.

I would love to say that learning about what it takes to create a single lens makes me feel a little bit better about the amount of money I'm planning to spend when I get a 5D. ...But no. Not really.

Glass

Canon's Virtual Lens Plant videos are completely fascinating. I especially like the bits about the molten glass (who doesn't like stuff that's molten?) and the actual lens assembly - particularly since they use a massive 500mm lens, with a staggering 17 elements, to demonstrate the process. It's also hard not to get a kick out of the very serious narrator repeating "EF 500mm F4L IS USM" over and over again.

I would love to say that learning about what it takes to create a single lens makes me feel a little bit better about the amount of money I'm planning to spend when I get a 5D. ...But no. Not really.

Ridicule!

The other day, Sutter and I went to a local home improvement store to pick up a few things. While he perused the selection of rechargeable batteries, I admired the astounding variety of flashlights, including a very sparkly pink and purple princess-themed children's flashlight complete with rhinestone accents.

I came across a small Tigger-shaped light which required a push on his orange and black-striped Tigger-tummy to turn on. In bold black letters, the package exclaimed "Squeeze me!" and below, in French, "Pressez-moi!" Being that I love the French language, this tickled my insides and I've since abused the phrase heartily. Yelling "PRESSEZ-MOI!" across the room to Sutter whenever I feel the urge for a dose of oxytocin is maybe funnier than it should be.

Ridicule!

The other day, Sutter and I went to a local home improvement store to pick up a few things. While he perused the selection of rechargeable batteries, I admired the astounding variety of flashlights, including a very sparkly pink and purple princess-themed children's flashlight complete with rhinestone accents.

I came across a small Tigger-shaped light which required a push on his orange and black-striped Tigger-tummy to turn on. In bold black letters, the package exclaimed "Squeeze me!" and below, in French, "Pressez-moi!" Being that I love the French language, this tickled my insides and I've since abused the phrase heartily. Yelling "PRESSEZ-MOI!" across the room to Sutter whenever I feel the urge for a dose of oxytocin is maybe funnier than it should be.

Bzzzzz

There are worse sounds to be awakened by than the high-pitched buzz of a mosquito floating past your ear at 2 in the morning. On the other hand, it still sucks.

My usual defense is to pull the covers up over my head and just try to ignore the thought of a searching, blood-sucking insect until I can fall back asleep. Unfortunately this is a warm summer night, which made sweating it out highly uncomfortable. So when I heard Jason swat at the thing a few times, we compared grump level notes and finally decided to get up, turn on the lights, and make use of our new fly swatter.

On our first round of killing spree, Jason gave an offending mosquito such a good smack that it left a large smear of blood on the wall. Our blood. We've since tried going back to sleep twice after many successful splats, each time only to again be jolted out of our half-sleep with an indignant "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz".

I think we may be sleeping with the swatter between us tonight.

Bzzzzz

There are worse sounds to be awakened by than the high-pitched buzz of a mosquito floating past your ear at 2 in the morning. On the other hand, it still sucks.

My usual defense is to pull the covers up over my head and just try to ignore the thought of a searching, blood-sucking insect until I can fall back asleep. Unfortunately this is a warm summer night, which made sweating it out highly uncomfortable. So when I heard Jason swat at the thing a few times, we compared grump level notes and finally decided to get up, turn on the lights, and make use of our new fly swatter.

On our first round of killing spree, Jason gave an offending mosquito such a good smack that it left a large smear of blood on the wall. Our blood. We've since tried going back to sleep twice after many successful splats, each time only to again be jolted out of our half-sleep with an indignant "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz".

I think we may be sleeping with the swatter between us tonight.