I'm back in New Zealand, shaking off the last of the jetlag.
Upon arriving home, I suddenly felt strangely disoriented. The green smell of the yard, the disarmingly bright sunshine, the summer breeze, the small town, the deafening quiet, it was all so charmingly simple, and so drastically different.
After two weeks of wintertime big cities and the hustle/hassle of international travel, the sudden and immediate change was jarring. After three weeks of feeling blissfully, finally, so in context, after surrounding myself with my closest friends and family, after finding myself merging effortlessly back into the urban flow, here it had all changed again and I felt completely upside down.
What I need most now is a reason to be living in Nelson beyond the fact that it's a wonderful place to be. I won't argue against any of its best qualities, and I'm incredibly endeared to this little beach town. But I feel so much like a tree without roots. I need a reason not to feel like I'm floating. I am so clearly not done with the parts of my life -- and the parts of myself -- that I found again in the past few weeks. But I am also not done with Nelson, or New Zealand.
So far, I'm not sure where that leaves me.
1 comment:
First time visitor here - just wanted to say you've got a very nice blog (love your pictures!) and that it's amazing how much moving to another country can change you. That "tree without roots" comment really hit me - I felt that way during my year in England, and now being back in London, Ontario, it feels that way all over again. Makes sense after uprooting yourself, I guess...
One thing that made me feel less disconnected was leading my parents around London (the UK one) for the first time - suddenly it was MY place, and after that it felt a lot more like home. Since you're in a different hemisphere, it might not be so easy, but maybe spend some time thinking about where you would take people if they did come and visit. Either way, good luck & looking forward to reading more :)
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